80 Days!

Weddings make people crazy in so many ways. There’s a lot of stress in my life right now and I’m ready to just say “forget it” and get married at the courthouse, but we’re so close and I know that it will all work out. Even if everything doesn’t go as planned, I’m ready to finally be married to the love of my life.

I’m tired of dealing with the unsolicited opinions and high emotions that keep getting thrown at me, and it’s my nature to just pretend like it’s not happening and shut down. I know this is not how I should deal with my problems, but for now it’s all I can do to keep from having a nervous breakdown.

While other people are worrying about every little detail or telling me I should have saved money by having a much smaller wedding, I’m just trying to hold myself together. I’m not worried about the details…I don’t care if the bridesmaids wear the same jewelry, or if some groomsmen wear cowboy boots while others wear dress shoes.  I know people won’t remember how the wedding looked. I know I certainly won’t.

Everyone is dealing with this wedding in their own unique way, and it’s exhausting. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’ve never been very emotional, but I have to fight back tears whenever I hear a love song or even think about a happy memory. I was writing about our story on the wedding website and it was all I could do to keep from bawling remembering all of our history. I’ve turned into a huge sap and it’s so uncharacteristic that it kind of scares me. I really don’t want to cry at the wedding, but at this point I’m not sure it can be avoided!

We just have 80 days to go. Even though I’m so stressed out I feel like I could go into hibernation until then, I’m very thankful for the generosity and support of our families. My family has been absolutely amazing and I can never thank them enough for all their help, and their wonderful attitudes about this. They’ve been relaxed and have given advice, while assuring us that this wedding is about us. Of course, his family has been great too. It’s awesome to see how willing family members are to help. We couldn’t do this without them!