My riding career has always been tumultuous, to say the least.
I’ve never really had any consistency in my riding until now, partly due to circumstances outside of my control, and partly due to my own choices. There’s nothing I can do to change the past, but now that I’m in a situation that I can completely control, I’m dedicating an extraordinary amount of time, money, and effort into forging ahead in my equestrian pursuits.
There have been periods of time in my riding when I felt like giving up. I don’t seem to have any natural talent, I certainly don’t have the kind of money that many people in this sport have, and although I’ve technically been riding for 17 years, I’m still considered a beginner. In the past, I’ve let comparison really get me down. By nature, I’m extremely critical of myself. After a not-so-great ride, I have to make a huge effort to let it go and not beat myself up for days. Riding is my passion in life, and it’s discouraging to be so far away from where I want to be. It used to be so hard for me to see riders a decade younger than me successfully jumping around Novice while I’m struggling over a single cross rail.
I’m trying to put comparison aside and just focus on myself. A few years ago, I had set goals for myself that I was certain I was going to achieve by a hard deadline. I was determined that I would run Beginner Novice by age 22 and quickly move up the levels from there.
That didn’t happen. Not by a long shot. I’m approaching 23 and I’m still doing a happy dance if I can get over a line of two 18″ cross rails without any major mishaps. I am finally learning to be okay with where I am at this point in my life. I’m doing my absolute best and working hard with what I have. I’ve scrapped any sort of timeline and I’m just taking things one ride at a time. Once I got rid of the deadlines, I found it easier to feel more satisfied with each ride. Riding is a luxury, and I’m able to fully enjoy it now. Little by little, I’m moving forward.
I still have goals, but I’m much less concerned with how long it takes to get there. I’m just trying to take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.
Keep Calm and Carreon 